You are Enough, Mama!

"Comparison is the thief of joy." This phrase rings true frequently in my life, and even more so now as a mom.  There are lots of things they say moms should do.  Read the books, the websites, listen to the speakers.  You're supposed to breastfeed.  And talk to them all of the time.  And follow baby wise.   And ya da ya da ya da! I often find that when I read books for information, I close the book feeling discouraged. "Dang it, I'm not doing that, either.  I'm not doing enough.  I'm not enough."  

Over the last few days, I've had a few conversations with other mama friends and let me tell you, they  were freeing.  I began to see that in reality, none of us really have it all together.  We're really all just trying our best to do what we can to nurture and love our little babes.  And that is beautiful.  The grace of motherhood is beautiful.  I don't have it all together, and I don't have to.  I don't breastfeed my babes, and that's okay.  I don't always get a shower in, have the dishes washed, and dinner ready when my husband's home, and that's okay.  I don't have to be reading books to my girls every minute they are awake, and that's okay.  I'm learning to stop feeling like I have to be the mom that other moms are, and that God has uniquely created and gifted me to be a mom.  I can be the mom God has created ME to be, not the mom he has created other women to be.  I don't have to keep comparing, I can rest in the truth that Jesus has equipped me just as I am to take care of my daughters.  And I can also rest in knowing that I will have moments where I fail, but Jesus will not, and by his grace, I can be the mom he has created me to be.  Mamas, rest in knowing that you are equipped and enough just as you are, and that in the moments where you mess up, Jesus steps in and pours grace over you.

Inviting Jesus Into the Mundane

As I think and pray through the list of hopes, dreams, desires, the Holy Spirit speaks slowly and softly to me, helping me to focus in on His desires for me in this season.  Thank you, Jesus.  He gave me a gentle reminder that although there are many good desires here, my most important job right now is being a mom that proclaims the gospel to my 2 beautiful, innocent, joyful daughters.  I am a dreamer.  When I'm sitting around, my mind is constantly spinning, thinking of things I could be doing, should be doing, when in reality, some days I have a hard time even getting the dishes and laundry done.  Jesus is trying to teach me to see the beauty in the mundane daily tasks of being a mom.  He's calling me to find ways to be creative in inviting him into the mundane.  So, this blog is just an attempt to document ways He's helping me become creative in my pursuit of Him.  And to invite other moms to join in- to share how they are inviting Him into their day.  Because I think we can all help each other learn how to do this by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Being a mom is glorious and beautiful and the most rewarding thing I have ever done.  Being a mom is also really, really hard.  So let's come together as women, and be real about it and encourage one another in it.

Here are some initial thoughts about ways to get creative in inviting Jesus into the day... I'm hoping to experiment a little with each of them, and write a reflection on how it practically plays out...

• Doodle encouraging scripture verses and post them all over the house.
• Cook.
• Sing and dance with my daughters.  Invite them into worship NOW!
• Declare, sing, and write words over my daughters/their beds.
• Focus on a specific bible verse each day - play it through the Verses Project, put it in my pocket, put it on my phone.
• Write.
• Draw.
• Pray out loud. Constantly.
• Listen. Constantly.  
• Take the girls on a walk and listen to worship music.
• Play sermons/worship music in the background. 
• Play the Audio version of the Bible out loud.
• Take them places where we can invest in people.
• Host friends in our home.

Please, help me add to this list!!  How do you invite Jesus into your day?

Hopes, Dreams, and Desires

Being at home with 2 infants, there is a lot of time to think.  My mind and heart fill with ideas, thoughts, dreams- desires for myself, for my daughters, for my family.  As these dreams overwhelm me, I find myself needing to process and channel them, to ask "What do you desire, Jesus?" and "What dreams do you call me to focus on?"  So, this is my attempt to break down dreams and desires and then filter them to a place of understanding, so that I can pray that the Holy Spirit would direct them in a way that glorifies our King.  

Some desires I have in my own heart, for myself...

A desire to...

-Minister to women.  For some reason, this has been really heavy on my heart, but I also feel ill-equipped- like, do I even have the knowledge and understanding to minister to other women?  I lack a strong biblical foundation and feel often times like I am no better of a Christian than anyone else.  What would make me equipped for this?  I find myself desiring to have women into my home to talk about Jesus, specifically, moms, to talk through what it looks like to seek Jesus in such a busy season.  I also find myself getting discouraged since I feel so far away from the women I'm close to.  Lord, would you show me how to do this?  Whether it be engaging with my new community, or being more intentional about the women who are far away, would you direct me to where you are calling me now?

-Be creative.  Whether it's cooking, writing, drawing fancy letters, teaching, etc., I've had a strong inkling to create.  What does it look like for me to create?  What do I focus on?  How do I channel it in a way that honors Jesus?  How do I even make time for this right now?

-Study and read and grow in the understanding of Jesus.  I want more books.  More knowledge.  And yet, I already have bookmarks half way through 3 other books.  So why am I trying to find new books when I haven't even finished reading the ones I have?  Where do I start?  What do I need to grow in?  Well, lots of things, but Jesus, what do YOU need me to grow in during this season of life?  Show me, King Jesus.

-To stop thinking "What about me?" This is not life giving, not Christ-like, and is not what I'm called to as a follower of Jesus.

-Take advantage of the mundane moments in my day as a Stay at Home Mom, and to find practical ways to invite Jesus into them.

Desires I have for my daughters:

-I want them to be women that know and love Jesus.  How do I share the gospel with them daily?  What are some practical ways for me to do this?  How do I explain what Jesus is like and who he is?

-I want us to be women that worship together.  How do I bring my daughters into worship?  Even at a young age?  

-I want them to have hearts of service.  I want them to love people.  Regardless of where they are from, what they are like, how different they are from my daughters, I want them to be able to meet people where they are at.  As I think about this, I can't help but ask myself, "Am I even doing this well?"  Jesus, help me to cultivate this better, and help me to invite my daughters into this with me.

-I want them to be brave.  I want to be less scared of their safety and to help them to take risks that will grow and change them for the better.

-I want to be specific about what I pray for them, and help them learn to be specific about the ways that they pray for their own hearts, and for others.

Desires for my family:

-I want our family to crave worshipping our King.

-I want our family to speak affirmations over each other like it's our job.

-I want our daughters to see what Christ looks like through the ways my husband and I interact with each other.

-I want us to grow in our knowledge and understanding of the Word together.

-I want us to learn how to cultivate free time well.

-I want us to have open, vulnerable conversations with each other about hard things that each of us encounters.  I want my daughters to see my own heart struggles and the ways that I'm continuing to work out my salvation.

-I want my husband and I to have ongoing conversations about our hearts, our relationship with Jesus, and how He's continuing to change us.

-I want our family to embrace our community, our church body, and to lay our lives down for others.  Help us to do this better, Lord.

-I want Scripture to be written on our hearts through the ways that we actively seek and grow in our knowledge and understanding of it.  God, would you give us the discipline to do this?  It sometimes feels so hard for our tired and weary hearts, even though it's the only source of true life.