Friends. Good morning. I'm laughing a little bit at myself, because I address all of these posts to "Mamas," and "friends," but I have not shared this blog with a single person. I mean, maybe someone on the Internet will stumble upon it if they're looking hard, but the point is, I'm writing all of these posts because I feel like the Lord is stirring it in my heart, but I'm also too scared to take the next step of sharing it. It means being vulnerable. It means other people reading and judging my writing. I sometimes don't even think it's worthy of reading, but I know that that's a lie of the enemy, so I need to go ahead and show him that he picked the wrong girl to mess with. So here goes.
Over the last few months, God has been stirring in me a desire to minister to women, particularly young and new mamas. I was telling my husband the other day that it keeps coming back, and I keep thinking about it, but I feel like yesterday was the first day I actually decided to sit down and pray about it. It's amazing what happens when we shift from thinking about something to praying, and asking the Holy Spirit to intercede in it. A few things happened:
1. God asked me to take things SLOW. When I get excited about an idea, I have a tendency to jump right in and try to find a way to make it happen immediately, but then it lacks thoughtfulness, prayer, and intentionality. This one, he asked me to take slow. Baby steps. Really, Lord? But I want to do something about this NOW! Nope, take it slow, plant seeds and let's grow this slowly. Oof. Okay. But I know there's a few small steps I can take. And I'm writing these for my own accountability: 1) Actually share this blog with someone. Let someone into it. 2) Ask a few people to join in prayer with me over this. 3) Consistently write on this blog. What about? I'm not sure yet, but just start writing and see where the Lord leads.
2. I found myself saying, "Lord, I'm not equipped. I don't have enough knowledge, I don't know enough people, I really don't even know what you want me to do here." His response was this: "I do extraordinary things with ordinary people"- and specifically he put the story of Exodus on my heart. So I'm going to start studying that. Wanna join me? Who am I kidding, no one is actually reading this!
Okay, that's all for now. But I think there's a lot of power in naming our fears, saying no to them in the name of Jesus, and then talking through how to move forward and face them. I hope this encourages you to do the same.
Grace and Peace.
You're funny, babe! Now nobody's not reading this. Thanks for including me. Sharing your heart is beautiful. Like you said, it doesn't have to look a certain way. It just has to be you. And I don't know if you can mess that up if your honestly unpacking what's on your heart and mind. I pray that you do not get distracted worrying what others will think. You are free from such bondage. And I hope what you share, by God's mercy, reminds and encourages others to know that same freedom. I love you.
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